AT LAST A MAN HAS TAKEN THE TIME
TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN.
FINALLY, THE MAN’S SIDE OF THE
STORY!
(I MUST ADMIT , IT’S PRETTY GOOD)
WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES‘
FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE
MALE SIDE.
THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL
NUMBERED 1
ON PURPOSE!
1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.
YOU’RE A BIG GIRL. IF ITS UP, PUT IT
DOWN.
WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN
YOU DONT HEAR US COMPLAINING
ABOUT YOU
LEAVING IT DOWN.
1. SUNDAY SPORTS IT’S LIKE THE FULL
MOON OR
THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.
1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.
1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK
JUST SAY IT.
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY
ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO
ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.
1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM
ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP
SOLVING IT. THAT’S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR
GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.
1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO
IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME
NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.
1. IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT,
YOU PROBABLY ARE.
DON’T ASK US.
1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE
INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF
THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY
WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO
SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO
DO IT
JUST DO IT YOURSELF.
1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY
WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY
DURING THE COMMERCIALS!
1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT
NEED
DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.
1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS,
LIKE
WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE IS A FRUIT NOT
A COLOR.
PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT!
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE
SCRATCHED.
WE DO THAT.
1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND
YOU SAY
NOTHING, WE WILL ACT LIKE
NOTHINGS WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS
JUST NOT
WORTH THE HASSLE.
1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T
WANT AN
ANSWER TO,
EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT
TO HEAR.
1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO
SOMEWHERE,
ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS
FINE.
REALLY
1. DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE
THINKING ABOUT
UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO
DISCUSS SUCH
TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR
SPORTS.
1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.
1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.
1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE.
1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.
YES, I KNOW I HAVE TO SLEEP
ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.
BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY
DON’T MIND THAT. IT’S LIKE CAMPING.
PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU
CAN
TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH.
PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS
YOU CAN
TO GIVE THEM AN EVEN BIGGER
LAUGH.
