AT LAST A MAN HAS TAKEN THE TIME

TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN.

 

FINALLY, THE MAN’S SIDE OF THE

STORY!

(I MUST ADMIT , IT’S PRETTY GOOD)

 

WE ALWAYS HEAR ‘THE RULES‘

FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.

 

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE

MALE SIDE.

 

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE.. THESE ARE ALL

NUMBERED 1

ON PURPOSE!

 

1.  MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

 

1.  LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT.

YOU’RE A BIG GIRL.  IF ITS UP, PUT IT

DOWN.

WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN

YOU DONT HEAR US COMPLAINING

ABOUT YOU

LEAVING IT DOWN.

 

1.  SUNDAY SPORTS IT’S LIKE THE FULL

MOON OR

THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.

LET IT BE.

 

1.  CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

 

1.  ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK

STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK

OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK

JUST SAY IT.

 

1.  YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY

ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO

ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

 

1.  COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM

ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP

SOLVING IT.  THAT’S WHAT WE DO.

SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR

GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

 

1.  ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO

IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.

IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME

NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

 

1.  IF YOU THINK YOU’RE FAT,

YOU PROBABLY ARE. 

DON’T ASK US.

 

1.  IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE

INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF

THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY

WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

 

1.  YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO

SOMETHING

OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.

NOT BOTH.

IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO

DO IT

JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

 

1.  WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY

WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY

DURING THE COMMERCIALS!

 

1.  CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT

NEED

DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

 

1.  ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS,

LIKE

WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE IS A FRUIT NOT

A COLOR.

PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT!

WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

 

1.  IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE

SCRATCHED.

WE DO THAT.

 

1.  IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND

YOU SAY

NOTHING, WE WILL ACT LIKE

NOTHINGS WRONG.

WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS

JUST NOT

WORTH THE HASSLE.

 

1.  IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON’T

WANT AN

ANSWER TO,

EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON’T WANT

TO HEAR.

 

1.  WHEN WE HAVE TO GO

SOMEWHERE,

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS

FINE.

REALLY

 

1.  DON’T ASK US WHAT WE’RE

THINKING ABOUT

UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO

DISCUSS SUCH

TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR

SPORTS.

 

1.  YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

 

1.  YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

 

1.  I AM IN SHAPE.  ROUND IS A SHAPE.

 

1.  THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.

YES, I KNOW I HAVE TO SLEEP

ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.

 

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY

DON’T MIND THAT.  IT’S LIKE CAMPING.

 

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU

CAN

TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH.

 

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS

YOU CAN

TO GIVE THEM AN EVEN BIGGER

LAUGH.